I love poetry because it's ok if it's a little bit incoherent. Sometimes that's the point. I write poetry spontaneously and infrequently. It happens when it happens.

I unfortunately cannot locate most of my older poetry from high school. I think it died with that laptop 4 years ago. womp womp, you win some, you lose some.

Only the one poem here right now (with a way too long-winded explanation of a tangentially related novel). I know I have a collection about cats somewhere in one of my Google Drives, I'm just having trouble locating it. I remember those poems being real sappy, but i do miss them. Hope I can find them soon.

a romance of at least three dimensions

this is one of those things that i write and worry it makes absolutely no sense to anyone but me. but honestly, even if that's the case, i try my best not to care. i wrote this for me first.

this poem is based on the novel "Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions" by Edwin Abbott Abbott (yes, he has the name Abbott twice). this novel is notable because it has a really great metaphor to demonstrate something kind of crazy: my own view of god/the divine/whatever you wanna call it. the novel tells the story of this square that lives in a society called Flatland, a world that is contained entirely within a single 2-dimenensional plane. the only directions the citizens can move is left, right, forwards and backwards. one night, the square is visited by a sphere.

the square is unable to comprehend a sphere, and is only able to view that sphere as a circle (better explained, in order for the sphere to enter flatland, it must intersect the plane. when a plane intersects 3 dimensional geometry, only a two dimensional shape really touches that plane. in the case of the sphere, this would be a circle. a cube would be a square, etc). the sphere attempts to educate the square on a third dimension: height. it teaches the mantra of "upwards, not forwards." the square is unable to even comprehend this until the sphere gives up, and pulls the square out of flatland. now in spaceland, a 3 dimensional space, the square glimpses flatland from above, and is forever changed. after a while, the sphere returns the square to flatland. the square attempts to spread the word, but being unable to describe what "upwards" means, is labeled a lunatic and ignored.

i like to think that i am a citizen of flatland, and whatever higher power there is originates from 3 dimensional space. in reality, we occupy "spaceland" right now, and a higher power is a being that exists in some land with a fourth dimension, one our 3d brains can't even comprehend.

i think there's a lot of ways to interpret that. i personally see it as "what's the point in thinking about it?". my human brain can't comprehend the worlds above me without a guide, so why bother worrying? and even if i could somehow access this higher world, why would i? look how complex my life and problems are in this world, now imagine adding an entire new dimension to it? it's beyond me. it's beyond humanity, and there's not a ton i can do about it. i'm happy to be a square.

(barely) connected poems about me

these ones are (hopefully obviously) pretty personal. a small collection of three poems i wrote in a rare moment of self awareness. like most of my poetry, these were for me before anyone else.

if it wasn't obvious from these poems, i've dealt with a myriad of mental health issues in my life. i'm in a way, way, way better place now (spent several years to get here, and i'm still growing by the day), but i don't think it's ever something i'll be over. it's a fundamental part of my being. it's why i treat people in my life now the way i do. it's why i treasure as many moments as i can.

i made a conscious decision to live all those years ago, and i hope it remains one i never regret.